Hello 2012

Another year, another whirl ‘round the sun.

I’m not embarrassed to admit that I like New Year’s resolutions. There’s a lot to be said for a clean slate, for starting over, for building upon. However, the more New Year Days I face, the more apparent it is that although my resolutions are real nice in theory, life sweeps on in blatant disregard of that shiny new first-day-of-the-year list. And it’s not that my resolutions are overly ambitious – “take your vitamins” could hardly be called that, but beyond the first week of January it hardly ever happens!

The problem is, as always, in my head. I allow all the little daily stresses and obligations to worm their way to the front and overshadow the more important stuff. Like vitamins. Well, time has come for a change.

I am reading an amazing book at the moment – “Mile Markers”, by Kristin Armstrong. She quotes, and it is so true: if you do the things you have always done, you will get the things you have always gotten.

So this year’s resolutions are a little bit different. They are wishes and hopes, improvements, tweaks. Most importantly, they are about learning to say “I will”, and mean it.

1. This year I hope to get pregnant. I will do whatever it takes to fix these ovaries of mine. I will eat better, not over-exercise, get more sleep, take my vitamins daily (watch me!), reduce caffeine (gulp!), and consciously try to curb my stress response. I will take better care of myself, so that my self can hope to take care of a +1. I hope to be able to make my wonderful husband a father.

2. This year I will be a better wife, friend, sister, daughter. I will remember birthdays. I will call my family more often. I will tell my people that I love them. I will aim to raise them up rather than drag them down.

3. I will focus on the good things at work, and remind myself of the reasons I love my work as often as necessary. I will remember that even though I am damn good at my job, I can never please everybody. I will do the best I can for every patient, and that will be good enough.

4. I will learn to say “no” without guilt.

5. I will play more, laugh more, enjoy the moment and recognise that this life is actually pretty awesome.

Here is to a brand new year!

Good-bye 2011

You know how some years pass with barely a memory of any significance to mark the time, while others are so jam-packed full of stuff that you feel as if you’ve lived about three years in the space of a twelvemonth?

2011 has been a memorable year in many ways, but above all 2011 has been the year in which I willed my life and love into another person’s hands, and received his in return.

And then the universe exploded in a “you did WHAT?” kind of way. With star showers and everything. Seriously.

2011 reminded me of how much I love my family, and how much I miss them. It brought one of my brothers into the country, and saw my father give what to me will always be the equivalent of “I have a dream” speech, complete with Janis Joplin and Beatles quotes.

I fell in love with baking. And running. And the two balance the scale quite nicely, thank you very much.

This was the year that gave me a permanent residency in the UK. Massive load off. Massive. Everybody: They will never take away our freeeedooom!!!

(2011 was also a year during which I was continuously stressed as hell mainly for work related reasons, but we won’t talk about that.)

Raise that water glass.

Why I run

Two months ago I somehow managed to injure my left foot. All of a sudden I developed arch pain, and being a bit slow on the uptake, I tried to tough it out and keep on running. The arch did not appreciate that at all, and since the initial ouch did not seem to get my attention, it started shooting nasty pains up my shin. Thanks ver much, point taken.

A visit to the physio determined that the pain is most likely due to a strained ligament and not shin splints (yet), and confined me to 2 dreary weeks of rest and stretching.

Well. Being told that you are not allowed to do a certain thing sure does force you to examine why you are doing it in the first place, doesn’t it? Or maybe I’m the only navel-gazer in the room. Anyway…

I started running during the infamous boot camp months just before the wedding, and saw it as a necessary evil that had to be endured. A little bit of running 3 times a week for 2 months was not going to kill me (I hoped). However, a combination of several running enthusiasts within the group, my long-standing sense of wonder at all the nutty British people who can be seen running around the streets at all times of day and night even in winter, and my husband’s incredulous “You have never run a mile? Seriously? Hahahaa!” made me determined to see what the fuss was all about. Running must have some redeeming features – surely there would not be so many runners out there in the world if running was as bad as I imagined!

The first couple of months sadly did nothing to change my opinion of running – it was bloody difficult, I couldn’t breathe, my chest was going to explode at any second, my legs hurt, my butt hurt, I was slow, the whole couch-to-5k thing is a fucking joke…and so on. To keep me trucking on, I made myself a deal – I would get as far as running that damn 5k, and if I still didn’t enjoy running, I could quit knowing that I’ve at least given it a decent try.

I did have some help at this stage. I was whinging to a (running) friend about how much running sucked and how could he possibly claim to like it so much. He gave me laughter instead of pity, dragged me outside and made me run 5.8km without stopping. And the cunning bastard claimed we were probably not even going to cover 5k, according to his fancy Garmin, only confessing the real distance once I was a sweaty mess propped up against his front door trying desperately to keep my lungs inside my body. I managed to only hate him a little bit.

However, once the running mental block was lifted, my world changed. I could run 5k! Dude, this was phenomenal news! I had to do it again, just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. And then again, to see if it would get any easier (it did). And again, to see if I could beat my time. And again, only maybe I could try for 6k next time.  And maybe enter a little race. And…you get the picture. Three months in, I fell in love with running.

Two main reasons keep me lacing up the sneakers. Firstly, it gets my head in order. It’s a time for mental organisation, for working through problems and shelving them, planning the future, outlining hopes and dreams and ways to make them a reality. It’s a time for appreciating my amazing life and tossing the too-frequent black thoughts to the curb. A time to feel the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, the dirt beneath my feet. Running makes me feel alive.

Secondly, running lets me eat pretty much whatever I feel like, which is wonderfully freeing. It may seem stupid, but after years of dieting and freaking out because the numbers on the scale are at constant war with my love of food, I’m at a healthy weight without actually having to think about it. This is groundbreaking stuff for the average double-x chromosome owner!

Sitting here for the past couple of weeks itching to get outside has made me realise that I really do love running. I may not be fast, or go very far, but six months on, running has become a part of my life, and a part of who I am. Surprised? I am

Catch up

Over the past couple of months, in between the wedding, spending time with far-flung family members, and the absolute hell that has been work, I’ve written several posts which have been sitting in the Drafts folder. I’m letting some of them leak out now, to be published on the dates on which they were written. A few will likely remain in Drafts for a while longer, while I contemplate whether or not to delete them. I’m loath to allow workplace stresses to spill over into the blog, primarily because getting dooced would be inconvenient to say the least.

Work to live and try to focus on the positives .

There is loads to look forward to in the next couple of months:

- my first race tomorrow! 8k Women’s Undercliff Run in Brighton

- second race in Richmond Park the following Sunday – 11.5k trail run

- honeymoon week starting 17th October (still have to book the flights though)

- applying for permanent residency in November (scary stuff!)

I’m using tomorrow’s race as an excuse to lie around and eat too much – perfect day, if you ask me!

Gym oopsie

According to the 10k modified so often it has become unrecognisable training plan, today was a cross-training day, so I headed to the gym. And by headed, I mean procrastinated until about lunchtime (I was tired!), and forced myself out the door by checking out my ass in the mirror. What can I say, my ass is just that great

The gym plan usually involves 15min intervals on the elliptical (check), followed by 2k on the erg (check), followed by a random amount of cycling (lack of check right here).

Got off the erg, felt pretty good, and was inexplicably drawn towards the treadmills. Have you seen A Bug’s Life? The little bugs fly towards the light despite the warnings, saying …but it is sooo beautiful!!… zzzzap! And get fried. It was a bit like that. I felt like running.

DUDE. I felt like running. And we all break into song: …a whole new world…

Anyway. I went with it. 3k at a tempo pace, 11-11.5km/h. Thank you, you can now pick yourselves up off the floor and stop laughing. I still maintain that you do not have to be a speedy marathoner with Boston-qualifying times and sub-15min 5ks in order to call yourself a runner. I remain, yours truly, a runner dead chuffed with my 3k tempo

At this point I figured I’d just hop on the bike for 10min to loosen up my hamstrings* before stretching. Strapped myself in, plugged in the ear pieces, and turned the screen to TV mode. As it happens, the first channel to appear was showing Celebrity Masterchef. I was soon immersed in the roasting, broiling, chocolate pudding making, and snarky heavily made up WI ladies having very polite passive-aggressive bitch fights differences of opinion as to whether Nick Pickard’s risotto was absolute perfection (mmm, yes!) or lacked creaminess.  Next thing you know closing credits are rolling, 35 minutes of hard cycling have passed, and my legs are bloody killing me.

Not smart, D, not smart. Oh well, I’m racing on Sunday so tomorrow is a rest day anyway

PS. Oh shit, I’m racing on Sunday!!!

*For some weird reason running makes my hamstrings really tight and difficult to stretch out, whereas cycling does the opposite. Not sure what that’s all about.

Our wedding cake

Question: How do you go from this

to this?

Answer: With much swearing, sweat, and tears . Heavy on the swearing.

The first photo was wedding cake, mark 1. The practice round took place a mere 2 weeks before the main event – nothing like leaving small details like THE WEDDING CAKE to the last minute. Surprisingly, if you attempt to lift up a thin 12 inch cake layer with the intention of transferring it onto another plate, it falls apart. I KNOW. I was just as surprised as you are. Wedding cake: massive FAIL!

Wedding cake mark 2, however, was pure perfection, tasted out of this world awesome, and completely disappeared by the end of the evening .

As I am a generous kind person who would hate to see others make the same mistakes, what follows is the distilled wisdom painfully accumulated through this process.

D’s tips for first time wedding cake makers:

1. Definitely make a practice cake. Ideally more than 2 weeks before the wedding.

2. Buttercream makes wonderful glue. And no-one will complain if their slice has more cream than cake

3. You will never make the buttercream look as smooth as it does in other people’s photographs without Photoshop, so don’t sweat it. Additionally, decide that top and bottom layers will have a rough finish on purpose, and then you only have to be anal about the smoothness of the middle layer. This tip alone will save you hours, and several meltdowns.

4. Tell everyone you are making the wedding cake. They will be so impressed with the sheer bravery of the project that any small (and large) imperfections in the cake itself will go unnoticed. This assumes that your friends and family are all lovely and blind like ours, and you don’t invite any assholes/perfectly sighted guests to the wedding.

5. Provide plenty of alcohol. Cakes, like people, look loads better through beer goggles.

6. Last but not least: dude, it’s your WEDDING! AND you made the whole cake! You are f’ing AMAZING! Now quit stressing about the damn cake and enjoy your day! Have fun, dance, laugh, fall over lots. Eat cake, drink, and be marry

Week 2 recap

I suck at cross-training . 2 x 5k, 1 x 5.8k, and 1 x 45min run/walk completed, but cross-train day became rest day. I seriously underestimated how difficult it would be to do a training session at 8:30pm after a 12 hour work day, especially later in the week.

However, I did manage 2 continuous 5k treadmill runs this week! Woohoo! (And by continuous I mean 5k without stopping on two separate occasions, not back-to-back. We do strictly remedial running here, remember? )

Today’s long run was fairly awful, and involved about 50% walking. I’m viewing it as a learning opportunity

So what have I learned today?

- running at 2pm on a hot day is not the smartest idea

- running after you’ve just completed an hour of killer bootcamp that turned your quads to jelly is not a brilliant idea either

- eating oatmeal before a run (even if there is a 1.5h gap between the two) does not agree with me

- need to work out a way to carry water along

- test out new running shorts before you commit yourself to spending 45min in them, as it may help you avoid flashing innocent passers-by (said shorts ride up the inner thigh in a manner that has them resembling a bikini bottom – is there a word for an inner-thigh wedgie?)

In other news, the charity bootcamp was awesome! One hour, 20 or so ladies in bright pink Breast Cancer Campaign vests, playing the (un)co-ordination game to some Zumba music, followed by incapacitating all the major (and some minor) muscles one by one, and some planking. Loved it! Seriously

Bring on next week!

Week 3 training plan:

5.8k, 5.8k,  6.5k, 35-40min easy, cross-train 45-50min